Military and Civilian Families Tackling Tough Times Together - Part 3

Photo by Wokandapix from Pixabay

I continue working with Purdue University's College of Health and Human Resources on their initiative called "Families Tackling Tough Times Together."  Grounded in Dr. Froma Walsh's model of family resilience, the initiative is creating a series of weekly activities and resources (even recipes!) - with each week focused on one specific aspect of Walsh's model.  As part of the initiative, I am interviewing both military and civilian families about how they have gotten through difficult life experiences and how the lessons learned are relevant for many of us facing challenges and uncertainties associated with the COVID-19 pandemic.

In this third interview in the series, I talk with retired Brigadier General Marianne Watson. Before retiring in 2013, General Watson served 30 years in the Army National Guard, rising to the position of Director of Manpower and Personnel (J1) at the National Guard Bureau in Arlington, VA - where she oversaw programming that supported nearly half a million Guard members as well as their families.  Based on her personal and professional experience, General Watson has important expertise to share about family resilience during tough times.

In our interview, General Watson talks about the role that being able to express emotions openly for individual and family resilience. It is important to say at at the outset that being "open" does not mean saying anything and everything that comes into your head.  Communication scholars have documented how Americans tend to equate being "open" with "good" communication even though the story isn't that simple.  Dr. Walsh emphasizes the importance of sharing painful feelings with others who are likely to understand, as well as also sharing positive feelings and finding humor amid difficult circumstances and respecting individuals needs and differences. These suggestions cohere with advice from communication scholars to balance openness with people's needs for privacy and discretion.  Having said this, avoiding talking about topics during tough times - under most (though not all) conditions - is associated with lower relationship and family satisfaction.

General Watson reinforces the importance of open emotional expression for family resilience at two places in our interview. First, when I ask her to describe a difficult life situation and how she got through it, General Watson talks about how her spouse (also a military officer) took his life shortly before she retired - and more generally why service members often are reluctant to talk openly about behavioral health issues (e.g., stigma) and how the military is attempting to recast doing so as a leadership skill.  This portion of her interview corresponds with some of my own research, where spouses and parents report that military culture (with it's emphasis on strength and self-sacrifice) can reinforce the notion that mental health issues are a sign of weakness for service members, and recommend trying to reframe seeking help (and talking about it) as a sign of strength.

Second, General Watson recommends that during the current COVID-19 pandemic, parents share their own uncertainties and frustrations (in age appropriate ways) with their children while also listening to and validating their children's concerns. Her advice nicely illustrates how open emotional expression can be critical for helping create resilience in our families during tough times.

Special Memorial Day Edition Communication Matters Podcast - NCA's Communication and Military Division

Image by Liam Ortiz from Pixbay

In a special Memorial Day episode of the National Communication Association's podcast Communication Matters, I had the privilege of participating in a discussion about NCA's newest division - the Communication and Military Division.  Hosted by Dr. Trevor Parry-Giles, NCA's Executive Director, the podcast includes a conversation with two military veterans who have been active in helping create the new NCA division.  Dr. Elizabeth Desnoyers-Colas, Associate Professor in the Department of Communication Arts at Georgia Southern University, retired at the rank of Major after serving 16 years in the United States Air Force as a public affairs officer including during the first Gulf war.  Dr. William Howe, who just completed his PhD in organizational communication at the University Oklahoma and is beginning as an Assistant Professor in the Department of the Communication at University of Kentucky this fall, served as a combat medic in the U.S. Army during the conflict in Iraq.

In the podcast, Dr. Desnoyers-Colas, Howe, and I talk about the new NCA Communication and Military Division's mission.  The division promotes research, teaching, and community-engaged work that highlights and critiques messages and discourses within and about the military. Collectively, the division does not take a “for” or “against” stance on the military as an institution; rather, we work to enhance understanding between military and civilian communities, critique policies/practices, and contribute to positive changes concerning military/veteran-related topics.

Among other topics, we talk about why there was a need for the division at this point in time, how the division is helping connect faculty and students from many areas across the communication discipline (e.g., rhetoric, critical/cultural studies, and media as well as family, health, organizational, and intercultural communication), and how communication scholars bring a unique perspective to military- and veteran-connected issues.  Dr. Desnoyers-Colas reflects on the role that women play in the military, and Dr. Howe describes what it was like to return to the classroom as a student veteran.  I also discuss my own research on how military spouses and parents attempt to encourage service members or veterans to seek behavioral healthcare as needed, including why those conversations are challenging and what advice they would give others about navigating them.

Finally, we talk about the meaning of Memorial Day, especially at a time when our country is social distancing during the Covid-19 pandemic.  Dr. Howe suggests getting on the site iCasualties.org, which allows users to search fatalities in the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq, and tailoring the search for individuals from your own city or state.  He suggests that doing this may help make the sacrifices we celebrate on Memorial Day a bit more personal than otherwise might be the case.

Military and Civilian Families Tackling Tough Times Together - Part 2

As I've mentioned before, I am working with Purdue University's College of Health and Human Resources on an initiative called "Families Tackling Tough Times Together."  Grounded in Dr. Froma Walsh's model of family resilience, the initiative is creating a series of weekly activities and resources (even recipes!) - with each week focused on one specific aspect of Walsh's model.  As part of the initiative, I am interviewing both military and civilian families about how they have gotten through difficult life experiences and how the lessons learned are relevant for many of us facing challenges and uncertainties associated with the COVID-19 pandemic.

In this second interview in the series, I talk with Meagan Carrero from Purdue's Autism Research Center. Meagan is an ABA certified therapist who spent five years working with children with autism before accepting her current position. Meagan and her spouse also parent their 10-year old son with autism as well as three other children.  During our conversation, I asked Meagan what she would like people to know about autism (and children with autism), how her son James was diagnosed at 3.5 years of age (and why the diagnosis process is frustrating for many families), and how her family pulled together at that time to support her son.  In response, Meagan talks about one of the key themes in Walsh's model - the role of communication processes in creating family resilience. Meagan talks about how she, her husband, and her older stepchildren worked together to support efforts at strengthening her son's social skills (i.e., collaborative problem-solving).  She also highlights the importance of creating a safe space where family members can share both painful and positive feelings over time.  Here is a link where you can listen to my interview with Meagan.